I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
