It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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