i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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