lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
