Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
