Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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