So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
