census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
