It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
