I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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