Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
