Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you win again, gameday.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
