and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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