I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
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Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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