So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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