Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
