so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
