dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
