I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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