my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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