Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
