JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
found the other keg... it's in the tree
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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