if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
