apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
