I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
