Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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