Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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