There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
