i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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