The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
