Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
