Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize