You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
