I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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