He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
