I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize