Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
