Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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