she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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