big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
