The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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