you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
