I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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