My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
