arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
