Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA