Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just pee around me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies