Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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