I want to make a zoo with you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him