i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize