out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize