I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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