I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
