i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
