My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And then he peed in my hair
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