I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
