Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
