Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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