I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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