Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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