Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
