But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
