Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
