Fuck appropriateness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
