Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
