he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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