And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
