I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
