So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
