Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
