Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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