the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There are leaves in my underwear?
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