I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
