She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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